So here is what happened. My Sister-in-law met these children when she had visited with her co-worker for dinner. Her first impression of these kids was what is wrong with these kids they are too well behaved. As the night went on she found them charming and grew to love their sweetness. She asked the parents what did you do to get them to become so behaved? She was told that they had gone to a parenting class with Love and Logic.She told my husband and I about this class knowing what a handful my kids are. I finally had enough of yelling and struggling over trying to get my kids to behave. I decided to google search: Love and Logic. What I found is many resources of materials and conferences that they hold throughout the year. They were a little pricey for my budget, and the store was in Golden, CO. Which just happens to be too far for me to drive.
I decided just for kicks to search my local library, and see if they had anything on Love and Logic. To my suprise a lot of resources pulled up for the authors Jim Fay, Charles Fay, and Foster Cline. I decided to get the material the closest one to my kids' ages, and see if there was any insight on how to get my children to have better manners.
One of the many things that they suggested is to give a choice to your kids as much as possible on two opptions that you both like and doesn't create any problems for you or anyone else on the planet.
An example of these types of questions: "would you like to go to the park today or would you like to play in the back yard." Then the child feeling like they have control of your options chooses one in ten seconds then you ask another question: "would you like to swing first or slide first?" After a lot of questions comes the dreaded time to leave or go inside. I have found a way to turn this into a question too "would you like to go now or in 2 minutes?" When or if the child says "in 5 minutes" you tell them "oh I am sorry, that wasn't a choice, and then choose for them." If you choose to go now and they whine "I don't want to go now." You can simply say "Didn't I give you a lot of choices today? Now it is my turn for a choice. Thank you for understanding."
I am at the point of testing these out on my kids, so far it seems to be working. I hope to have more updates about this subject. One thing is certain I feel like I have more control over how they behave, and the plus side is that I don't feel like a monster for trying to get them to be a well mannered children.
